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About Me Member Pseudo-Intellectual absolute-obseletes18/Female/United States

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A Zombie Tale

In 1879, Master Braxton von Bates, a Haitian scientist trying to determine the effects of pufferfish meat on various humans inadvertently discovered that Zombies have a high threshold for pain and a great capacity for manual labor. Wanting to be the richest man in Haiti, which is really not an impressive feat, Braxton sold his ghastly scientific process to a capitalist fat cat convention that, incidentally, had come to Haiti to taste the supposedly exquisite pufferfish. The fat cats wanted the money to be able to import slightly less toxic oceanic delicacies to their homes and so they employed the Von Bates process and in turn the Von Bates p

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A Hairy SituationI pace in an effort to escape it. Their gazes swarm to me as if magnetically drawn to the buckles on my shoes. I try to flee the blazing iron of their eyes (for fear it will melt my shoe buckle) but each step turns a new eye towards me until I’m tap-dancing myself into a spectacle. I tell myself that my hair is too ostentatious. It grows wild and remains uncombed, extending this way and that until it forms a protective hedge where I can’t see them and they can’t see me, but they’re staring and I can feel them staring through this web of hair. They’re staring because there’s nothing for them to see. It is all hidden beneath the long tangles… & A Hairy Situation
by ~absolute-obseletes

Thursday AfternoonsI was sitting on a park bench reading as I usually do on Thursdays, mainly because there’s nothing else to do on Thursdays afternoons but read a depressing Thomas Hardy novel where one of the main characters will inevitably die. Anyway, I was sitting there near the swings, contemplating Tess’s imminent death (poor girl) when all of a sudden there was a figure blocking my light. I blinked up, annoyed that I was being kept from the predictable piece of prose, and saw Homeless Harry staring down at me. I’m not sure if his name really is Harry—it might have been Tom or Dick, but it didn’t matter. Homeless Harry didn’t matter to me. He wasn’t impo Thursday Afternoons
by ~absolute-obseletes

A Postal AffairIt is one of the odd little facts about life that everybody enjoys getting things in the mail. Whether its catalogues, or a reminder of an old friend, or a chance to gripe about your child’s exponentially increasing cell phone bill, we all look forward to seeing that truck make its way down our street. All of us except Jon Litz. “Mail is just so…blah!” he would ejaculate philosophically to anyone who inquired as to why he had boarded up the little slot in his door. Jon Litz bought scores of vicious canines to prey upon the mailman before the city, under Act 5-6B3 of 1969, had them taken away. Finally, Jon Litz decided it would be A Postal Affair
by ~absolute-obseletes

A Zombie TaleIn 1879, Master Braxton von Bates, a Haitian scientist trying to determine the effects of pufferfish meat on various humans inadvertently discovered that Zombies have a high threshold for pain and a great capacity for manual labor. Wanting to be the richest man in Haiti, which is really not an impressive feat, Braxton sold his ghastly scientific process to a capitalist fat cat convention that, incidentally, had come to Haiti to taste the supposedly exquisite pufferfish. The fat cats wanted the money to be able to import slightly less toxic oceanic delicacies to their homes and so they employed the Von Bates process and in turn the Von Bates p A Zombie Tale
by ~absolute-obseletes

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thoughts

Tue Mar 8, 2005, 4:05 PM

Does anyone else feel the desire to run once they get attached? Am I crazy? I have to break free, i care too much. Once it gets to the point where i'm having second thought about going, i know i need to go. I leave everything when i feel that if i stay any longer, i won't be able to leave at all. maybe if i didn't run from love, i wouldn't be so lonely. but self-inflicted lonliness is better than waiting around for someone else to inflict pain on me.

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Devious Info

Current Residence: dorm room
Interests: philosophy, music, movies,books, art, weird people, normal ppl 'cause i don't understand,
Favourite movie: Tommy(The Who's Rock Opera),Empire Records, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Battle Royale
Favourite band or musician: Sufjan Stevens, Decemberists, Aqueduct, Arcade Fire, Fiery Furnaces
Favourite genre of music: indie, classic rock, modern rock, new wave, old punk (emphasis on old), post-punk
Favourite poet or writer: Oscar Wilde, Aldous Huxley, Tom Robbins, Dostoevski,
Operating System: my brain sends messages to my body and it... operates
MP3 player of choice: My dad's. it works better than mine...
Shell of choice: conch. I've got the conch! I've got the right to speak.
Wallpaper of choice: rain
Skin of choice: It puts the lotion in the basket!
Favourite game: Hide and Go Fish...it's rather complicated...
Favourite gaming platform: PS2
Favourite cartoon character: Daria's Trent, ParaKiss' Johji, Lelouch vi Brittania
Personal Quote: Is insincerity such a bad thing? It is merely the means by which one can multipy their personality.
Tools of the Trade: sarcasm, intelligence, creativity, charm and if all else fails... creepiness

Email: bitethewaxtadpole137@hotmail.com

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Comments

~thirdwaltz Feb 11, 2007, 9:29:49 PM

Peter's pretentious petunia percolates perpetual postulation, petrifying the populist's preamble, particularly pestilent predicament.

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I think, therefore, I drink.

~absolute-obseletes Aug 16, 2007, 5:02:24 PM

A little alliteration goes a long way.

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You are a beautiful house. Nicely furnished. Your grounds are delightful...

~thirdwaltz Aug 17, 2007, 4:07:05 PM

Ummm... I wasn't sober when I wrote that... and it doesn't even make sense. Damn.

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I think, therefore, I drink.

~Moblize Sep 6, 2004, 11:12:28 AM

kelli angela hu? well it sounds like you have an identity crises on your hands. i think you would like [link]

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|||| sticks in a line

~karamei Jul 24, 2004, 3:19:25 PM

DUDE KELLI!!! you need to come back to DA D:
anyway i was like watching news and they said woxy is still gonna be on the air on the internet, you can listen to them at woxy.com i think!!! so, YAH! COME BAAAAAAAAACK D: